Quick update - finding balance and joy

So here's what happening in our life these days:

- Jared's birthday today (Happy Birthday Love, I am the luckiest ever)

- 36 weeks pregnant (and so ready to be done)

- Two campaign style dressers from Craigslist in the garage to be painted before Emerson arrives

- Brody spelling his name and counting to ten, melts my heart

- Discovering an extreme love for my new food processor

- Perpetually trying to be present and find balance

The last one is partially why I have been so absent on the blog as of late. I came to a point a couple of months ago where everything I felt obligated to do became a massive pile of dread, an endless checklist. I felt absolutely exhausted all the time. Cranky. Behind, behind, behind. It wasn't fun for anyone.

Lucky for me I'm married to the person who knows me best in this world, he knows how I think, how I stress, and how I can be my own worst enemy most of the time. He helped me to step back and take the pressure off of myself and for that I am so so grateful. There are so many things I love to do, that bring me joy by doing them. But trying to do ALL of those things ALL the time actually defeats the purpose. What I didn't realize is that even if I don't do something that I love as much as I want to (like blog) it doesn't go away, it will wait for me. So thanks for waiting.

I've learned to let go of the choke hold I thought I had to keep on finding joy, and let it come. And what's amazing is that it does. Not 100% of the time, or even 50% of the time (hello dishes, laundry, chasing a 2yr old tornado of stickiness). But it comes, and now that I'm not checklist-ing it to death I can actually recognize it and soak it up and save it.

Yesterday I laid Brody down in his big boy bed, he was already conked out for his nap. His room was clean (amazing and rare), the light was perfect coming through the drapes, and he was asleep and perfect with his little bo-bo bunny under his arm. My first thought - grab my camera, you'll forget this, he'll grow up so fast, his room will never be this clean again. I didn't get my camera. I laid down next to him and twirled his wispy blonde curls in my fingers. I kissed his forehead and smelled his hair. I breathed him in. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I woke up 2 hours later to him tapping my face "Mommy? Mommy! Hi mommy." So there aren't any pictures of his sweet curls or perfect light or clean room from yesterday but yesterday was just what I needed. Finding a balance between wanting document/create/learn/share and needing to feel/grow/give/love is tricky for me. And I know it's all about to change again when Emerson arrives. But I know that releasing yourself from the constant pressure is the first step. And that everything can, and will, wait. What shouldn't wait is your joy, your family's happiness, your memories. And searching for those moments in the chaos of normal life.

Phew, me and my hormones will shut up now. :)

Hello? Is this thing on?

Dear blog, sorry to leave you in the lurch the past two months. It wasn't you, it was me. Well, actually the two year old monster who lives in my house has been holding me hostage and has only released me on conditions of limitless Shrek watching and a finished big boy room.

I know we're all busy so I'll cut the "I've been so busy" crap, we all can relate right!? But we have experienced a few milestones the past few months that I am so excited (and/or relieved) about! Namely potty training, moving Brody to a big boy bed, saying goodbye to his "B" (pacifier), Jared's second office location opening, surviving swine flu and RSV, and counting down to little Emerson's arrival in March! Needless to say I am humongous, 7-1/2 months pregnant is not my favorite. And I'm afraid that it just gets worse from here. I've decided to parade my large-ness abroad and take a last minute trip to London with Jared in a couple of weeks. Yes, I'm crazy. But I wasn't going to let being 32 weeks pregnant keep Jared from seeing London for the first time! It's going to be so much fun, I can't wait!

I'll try to put up some pictures of Brody's new big boy room soon - lots of DIY projects, some unfinished, all in the pursuit of a not-so-kitchy but not too plain room for a little boy who eats, breaths, and lives everything sports. TRUST ME - I was dreading it like the plague. You'd have to hold me at knife point to get me to buy a matching sports themed bed set, which turns out was EXACTLY what Jared has envisioned/hoped for since we found out we were having a boy. Helllllooooo compromise! So details on that fun adventure coming soon...

I hate posts without a picture, so here is a picture of His Evilness. Not looking so evil in this one, actually pretty freaking cute if you ask me. He's got his act down, fooling us all. :)

Where did this big boy come from!?

These are from his first day of preschool. :) He goes two days a week, for two hours a day, and has a little backpack and everything! I can't stand the cuteness, it's just too much. He even says "pre-cool". I can't take it. It's like all of a sudden he's this little boy who's all grown up!

The month before preschool was a whirlwind of potty training (yes, it's early. yes, I'm an idiot), hand foot and mouth disease (hideous and awful), Brody's 2nd birthday, holiday and newborn sessions, and a trip to Utah to shoot a wedding and visit family. I feel like we got a jump start on the holiday mayhem!

But the great thing is that he's completely potty trained, loves preschool, and can't wait to see Grandma and Grandpa J in California over Thanksgiving. (Is it just me or did Thanksgiving totally sneak up on us this year?)

But preschool is really making me realize that time seems to be going by so much faster. Which I'm really banking on getting me through the sleepless nights this new baby is going to bring with her. Oh the joy. But it also motivates me to consciously slow down. Things aren't going to magically get less crazy or less busy, I'm pretty sure those things are just going to escalate at a faster rate. But if we can be happy crazy and happy busy I'm going to count that as a win. :)

So on days like today - with dishes piled in the sink, a to-do list a mile long, and a mangled peanut butter and jelly sandwich sitting next to my keyboard (thank you Brody) - I have a preschooler. Who poops in the potty. Life is good.

Bumeee!!

That's how Brody says "jumping", but it's more like Bumeee, BUmeee, BUMMEEEEEEEEE MOMMY! I'm kind of glad the guest room is pretty much an unfinished box with a bed in it right now, it's the perfect place to bumeee.

I can't decide whether he looks more like Dennis the Menace or Draco Malfoy.


At least this keeps him busy for at least 5 minutes. At what age does "high energy" become "needs medication"?? Haha, just kidding. Sort of.

But really he's getting to that really fun age where he kind of listens to what I say or ask and answers back. He's my little buddy. He LOVES turning on music in the kitchen and having dance offs. His two favorite songs right now are Baby by Justin Bieber and Black Horse and a Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall. He sings along to both of them and it's to die for cute. We have a few of his funnier ones on You Tube, you can check them out --> here.

We find out what baby #2 is in two weeks, let's all hope for a calm, sweet little girl. Mmmmm K? Actually another little boy would be fun, Brody could have a partner in crime. So it will be good either way. My sister, Kellye, is due three weeks after me and they are having a girl!! (Their doctor does a Jack and Jill blood test and mine doesn't, boo) So either way we will have a little girl to play dress up with. :)

For now, I'll be running after this little maniac. Well, I guess he is kinda cute.

Pregnancy Envy

Pregnancy does not look good on me. I'm not one of those people who glow or seem more at peace while pregnant. I'm not a fan. Especially during the first trimester. My skin is breaking out, my digestive system is rebelling against me in every way possible, if I could forever surrender my sense of smell I would, and I'm ready for bed by 6pm pretty much every day. This is me whining.

But the good thing is that I'm blessed with examples of perfect pregnancies and parenting all around me. Maybe there's hope.

Exhibit A: my sister Melissa.

Tall. Beautiful. Did pilates multiple times a week throughout her entire pregnancy. Her labor was maybe, mmmmm,  6 hours start to finish? We call her Mrs. Duggar because apparently her body was made for this.  If only I could hire her as a surrogate. That might be weird.


Exhibit B: my sister Kellye.


Also tall, gorgeous, very zen. Very at one with her pregnancy, and not sick one day. She definitely has the glow for sure. She's such a good mom and always so calm. If she wanted to raise kids professionally she totally could. I would hire her, she would be hired.


And Exhibit C: my sister Paige.



Not pregnant, but tiny and so pretty. She's pretty much a miniature person. And I'm sure she'll be a miniature pregnant person (which are the worst kind). Her jeans will fit until she's 8 months, I'm sure of it. She's moving to London next week so I'm going to live the jet setting, skinny jean & scarf wearing life vicariously through her.

Having sisters who are pretty much perfection is a blessing and a curse I think. It gives me hope that maybe, if I ever get pregnant again (I will need a serious pep talk), just maybe I won't want to die. Or I won't look like I want to die. I'll take one out of two!

Okay, I'm done whining now. :)

When the house gets quiet...

things like this happen! By the time I found him he had scooped out almost all of the Vaseline and was rubbing it in his hair and all over his face. And thought is was HILARIOUS.




As soon as I saw him I knew I had a choice - go into immediate cleanup mode or grab my camera. Needless to say I chose to cleanup later, it was funny until he started chasing me around the room with his slimy self.




And then it started to coat his eyeballs...





So it was bath time. Have you ever tried to wash Vaseline clumps out of hair!? IMPOSSIBLE! Dish soap, peanut butter, and two beaten eggs later (the eggs worked the best) he was a little less slimy. I think it took a week before it was all out.





He keeps me on my toes, that's for sure. And it's really going to get busy this spring when he's not the only child anymore. Yep, Brody will be a big brother in late March/early April! We're super excited, and I'm sure Brody will be happy to recruit a partner in crime. I have a feeling the shenanigans have just begun. :)

Paige & Will

Today is the last Murray wedding. I can't believe it! I'm sure my parents can't either. I think what makes a fun day even better is the fact that she's marrying the best guy. We absolutely love Will and he fits right in with the now complete group of brother-in-laws. And they just make the cutest couple!



I love that Will brings out Paige's silly side. While we were taking these he was constantly making her laugh. I love them together.




When I asked them to practice their first dance in the middle of this park I think it sunk in a little bit for both of them, you could just feel it. I love when I get to be there when moments like these happen.




The rest of the time there was this calmness about them. It wasn't the giddy/nervous/excited side of love but the comfortable, calm, quiet side. They just fit.




I love it because it reminds me that this is what it's about. It's about looking to the person next to you and being so amazed that they are yours and you are theirs. So today the last Miss Murray becomes Mrs. Simmons, and it couldn't be more perfect...

Little tiny...

Remember this sneak peak of little Landry? Here's the follow up that I meant to post afterwards, I can't believe how fast they grow. He was the cutest little tiny with all that hair, now he's crawling and giving Brody a run for his money! But he's still just as sweet as the day we took these.

Equal Opportunity

Because I pretty much have the cutest nephews EVER! Little Landry, I love him so much I could just eat him up.

So.....

I'm behind. From the looks of things about two months behind! But, such is life. I just remind myself that being busy is better than bored, and that sanity is way overrated. :)

But between all of the shooting, traveling, diapers, laundry, and general mayhem, my newest nephew arrived. With the most blonde hair I've ever seen.

Jackson Murray Jorgensen, he is so sweet I could just eat him up.

Costa Rica - Day 6

So I lied. I had all the best intentions of finishing these last two days up a week ago but it never fails - when I make plans, the AC goes out. I can pretty much count on it. So after spending the last week with the repair guys I am really wishing we were back on the beach!

Day 6 I conquered one of my major fears - heights. Apparently Costa Rica has some pretty amazing zipline tours, everyone that had been before told us it was a MUST do. Considering I have a hard time standing at the top of a step ladder without holding on I thought we might have a problem. But I didn't want to miss out so I figured if my harness breaks mid-zip and this is how I go out at least Jared would know that I tried to be adventurous!

As you can see, no harness mishaps this time so we're good. It was actually really, really fun. I did find myself looking down a few times planning which tree I would try to grab on to if my harness broke now.......or now.......or what.. about... now.... but that game got old quick since the trees started getting further and further away. We were so high up!! I should have taken some pictures along the way but I was too busy concentrating on my harness.

Here's the group on our way out. (Melissa and Dad stayed home with the babies)




Just a few from around the house after we got home. I loved the little water basin at the gate between our house and the beach, perfect idea for rinsing the sand off.




One of the days, I can't remember which, we had surf lessons so the boys spent the rest of the week trying to master the waves. I think Jared still prefers snowboarding, but man does he look good carrying a surf board. :)

Costa Rica - Day 5

Beach day! Brody got things started with a little show to entertain Landry. It is SO cute how much he already loves his little cousin.

Then he decided to head outside to explore. I love his little diaper bum.





This is his face when I tell him not to put something in his mouth. He's pretending to listen....



... and then does something cute to try and distract me.




Then we got really dressed up (and by that I mean we wore something over our swimsuits) and headed out for lunch. So much for a picture of all of us looking, I think that's pretty much par-for-the-course with a 1 yr old. :)






Where for lunch, Paige? LOS MUNCHIES! So we called it. It was actually only a couple of picnic tables outside of a tiny general store but OH MAN did they have the best rice and beans you've ever had. In you life. Ever. Brody was a fan of the smoothies, not even Sean's turtle flute playing could distract him.




Then it was back on the beach.



Will and Jared tried to get Brody into boogie boarding. He didn't like it so much.



Probably as much as Jason liked this:




Brody's favorite thing to do was pick up shells/leaves/sunglasses and throw them into the surf. Each throw he would say "BOOM!" and make a funny surprised face. Such a big boy. I love that little dude.




To me days like this are like gold. Just relaxing and enjoying being around the people you love the most. And rice and beans.

Costa Rica - Day 4

Sick of these yet? I feel like it's taking me 100 years to collect the pictures from everyone's cameras, sort, edit, and group them - but I promise I'm getting my stuff together! The last three days will go up this week and I will finally blog about something else!

In the meantime - day 4. Jared's favorite day. The girls stayed in for a beach/massage/pedicure day (Melissa took my mom for a doctor/sedative/eyepatch day) and the boys went to play golf. The boys actually left way before my mom's eye got bad, they're not the jerks that the last sentence kinda made them sound like. :)




They had a lot of stories about the crazy animals on the course, I think the alligator sign made everyone reconsider going after lost balls.

Cow.




I think it's funny that they each took turn taking pictures of their swings.






Iguana.




Remember when I was talking how surprised we were by the giant jungle bugs? Go ahead and add giant jungle frogs to that list.

Looks normal enough right?



HELLO!




Gross, dad. Gross.