The best gift

I got an email tonight from my friend Cheryl Muhr with a link to our pictures she took when Brody was five days old. What an amazing Christmas Eve surprise - I am in love with every. single. one.

Click here to view the slideshow.


I have so much to be grateful for.

I am so grateful.

There are no words...

I don't have the words to describe how much I love my strong little boy, or the words to express how grateful I am for Jared and the husband and father that he is. This has been the longest week, and there are no words that say how thankful I am that it is over and we are all here together.

A week ago today was the single most terrifying event of my life, a living nightmare. I was asleep and Jared was putting Brody in the crib. He woke me up to tell me that Brody had gotten choked and how he pulled him out of the crib to make sure he was alright. Just as we were talking about taking him to the pediatrician the next day Brody started flailing in his crib, he wasn't breathing and his little body struggled to grasp for air. Jared grabbed him and did everything he could to get him to take a breath. He was turning blue and I was frantic as Jared tried and tried again to get him to breathe. We called 911 and finally he gasped for air.

As I waited downstairs for the ambulance to show them where to go I had no words as I prayed the same prayer I prayed for the next four days straight. Please Heavenly Father, please, please, please.

Monday morning he underwent surgery at the best children's hospital in the country. Our parents all got there right after he went back, I have never been more grateful to run into my mom's arms than when I saw her down the hallway. The surgery went great and we got to hold our little boy as he came out of anesthesia in the recovery room. He looked great, he was in great hands and we knew we were in the best place we could be to help him.

About two hours later in our recovery room it happened again. The nightmare replayed when I laid him down to change his diaper. His body went rigid as he flailed to take a breath. Luckily the nurse walked in right as it was happening and called for the rapid response team. We spent the next three days in the ICU, our parents by our side helping us take shifts and keeping us sane. I really can't describe the terror and fear I felt just watching him and holding him and pleading please, Heavenly Father, please, please.

After countless tests and workups the doctors can't find exactly what caused the episodes, they say that his airways my have been swollen and weakened by the reflux he was having from the pyloric stenosis which the surgery fixed. I was comforted when Dr. Stein, the attending physician, said that this is his past, not his future. We continue to meet with his pediatrician, ENT doctors, and the surgery team in the next couple of weeks so we can keep a close eye on him. But when we were being released to go home I was overcome with panic, how can I ever sleep again. How did I sleep through the first one, how could I ever live with myself if something happened and I wasn't there.

When my mom told me at the hospital that my aunts had gone in together and gotten a monitor for his crib that signals if they stop moving or breathing I sobbed. I am so, so grateful to both of them for an answer to my prayer. I had no idea how I would ever sleep again, or if I could even function without constantly watching him to make sure he was breathing. After being home for a couple of days now I can honestly say that it has saved my life and sanity to have that monitor. We could not be more grateful.

I also want to say thank you for everyones thoughts, prayers, notes, and messages. We have felt your love and continue to feel it as Brody gets better and grows stronger. We are so glad he is home and count our blessings.

I never anticipated how much I could possibly love him. Or how much more I love Jared, when I thought there was no possible way to love him anymore than I already did. They are my whole world and my whole heart. I look back on the week and it makes me grateful that we live close to family, for their love and support, thankful to the doctors and nurses at Texas Children's, and most of all relief that it is all over and we're all here together.

The day after he got home he found his thumb!!

He's Here!

Two days after the last post Broderick Michael Jacox finally arrived healthy and happy! Born Sunday, November 15 at 5:03pm - 7lbs 5oz, 20.5 inches. After 38 weeks and 19 hours of labor we are SO glad he is finally here!

UPDATE: Yesterday we drove to Austin and had a session with the AMAZING Cheryl Muhr, she is absolutely incredible and I have been dying ever since we found out she could fit us in. This morning I got this preview from her and I'm just dying! I can't even stand how much I love them both, and how much I love Cheryl for the amazing blessing that her photographs are.

Here's some scariness for your Friday the 13th.....

Yikes....38-1/2 weeks. It's HUGE!! So I'm pretty much ready to get him here, let's do this! I had my checkup yesterday and my doctor said she thinks it could be this weekend, hallelujah. If not she said she doesn't think I'll make it to my due date in a week and a half so that was good news too. Now it's just a waiting game.

Waddle and wait. When I used to hear pregnant women say they couldn't walk fast towards the end, or they couldn't paint their toenails, or tie their shoes I would think to myself "Yea, okay. Sure." but never did I imagine that it is ACTUALLY TRUE! I am a full on weeble wobble, like one of those Lego's that has no legs just a round belly that he rolls around on. I feel like a spectacle.

And do you see how swollen my hands are!? So none of my rings fit and I look like one of "those" girls whenever I'm out in public with no ring on. Awesome. But other than that we're good.

I woke up last night at 4am with a contraction and totally freaked out, but it was only one so false alarm. The funny thing is I've been wanting to go into labor so badly for the last 2 weeks that I thought when it happens I'll be so relieved. But when I thought it could be happening all that I kept thinking was "Okay, how ready am I for this? Can I really do this, I mean really? Do I have to? Can he just appear in the little bassinet next to our bed and we skip all the breathing and cursing and what not?" Come to find out I'm actually really really nervous about the whole pain aspect of this, maybe I should have thought through that part a little more. Maybe that's why you get so miserable at the end - so when the pain comes you don't care because you just want to be done. I guess we'll just have to wait and see! (and hope the anesthesiologist is waiting on me when we get there)

A few more...

of these cute girls! I was so glad to get them in before this baby gets here, any day now!

Now booking sessions for January/February 2010!

Come back ankles, I miss you....

So this is what they mean by "You may experience some swelling in the final weeks", um yea. My ankles and toes look like sausages. Thank goodness this little guy is getting here soon, my body is starting to revolt! The crazy thing is when I put my feet up at night Jared can push on my ankles and leave dents, like if you needed a little salsa bowl for your chips you could make one in the side of my ankle. Sick.

Other than that things are pretty good, although I'm definitely large and in charge. There's just not much cute about 38 weeks pregnant. It's just crazy how big your belly can get, it feels like every morning I wake up rounder!! I had a checkup this week and they said he could be here any day now. So our bags are packed and everyone has directions to the hospital, now we wait.

So even though I feel like a turtle with my shell on backwards I am thankful that all in all it has been a pretty easy pregnancy. I still only sleep with one pillow (someone in our birthing class was up to SEVEN), I don't have to get up in the night to go to the bathroom, and IT'S GOING TO BE OVER SOON!

On a side note: I know a whole different reality is on the other side of all of this but if I have to hear someone start a sentence with "JUST WAIT" one more time I will bite them. Why do people enjoy telling pregnant women "Just wait, you think you want to die now? Just wait. You think you're tired now? Ha." Why? Even if it is the truth, LIE TO ME! I don't care!

Okay, now that I got that hormonal rant out of the way! Things are good and we are so, so excited. Jared thinks he will be here the week before Thanksgiving, I'm betting this weekend or early next week. Any other guesses?

Too cute

I have been proofing like crazy lately and realize I haven't posted ANY from the last few months - until I get my act together here are a couple of the cutest girls.

Houston Digs

So we've finally gotten the place unpacked and cleaned to the point that it's not too embarassing to put pictures up, it only took two months! We were totally pumped to find a loft right downtown, it was exciting to do something so different in a new place. There's still a few finishing touches we're lacking but as of now we're moved in and finally HOME!!

We turned the dresser in our bedroom into Brody's dresser/changing table and we're going to put the bassinet next to the bed. It's going to be cozy, but it's really perfect for the amount of time we'll be here and to try something new and fun!

"Grande Soy Hot Chocolate w/ Sugar Free Hazelnut, No Whip... AND FAST!"

I say this at least twice a week now, and every night in my sleep. This is a problem. Up until about three weeks ago the only serious cravings I had were in the first trimester (still finding pieces of potato casserole in my eyelashes). Then I was pretty much back to normal, don't get me wrong I can go for a Chipotle Salad Bowl at any time of day really but I wasn't sending Jared out in the middle of the night or anything. Okay, just once.

And although Brody's cheeks look like I've been scarfing candy bars left and right I've been trying to keep it pretty healthy, until the GSHCWSFHNW, that is. (nice acronym, huh?)

I was flying to Tyler for the weekend and right in front of my gate there was a Starbucks. I hadn't had one of their hot chocolates in forever so I decided to grab one while I waited. As soon as I sat down and took a sip it was all over. I picture Brody saying "Where has this been all my life!? You've been holding out on me???!!!" Now he demands it. In record breaking 95 degree weather and suffocating humidity during a walk outside he yells - "Hey Lady! GSHCWSFHNW...... PRONTO!!".

So hopefully I can keep it under control for the next few weeks, I guess it would help if I removed the Starbucks Finder App on my phone.

Our little guy!!

I've been torn about the whole 3D ultrasound thing. Sometimes it looks really cool and sometimes they look like a smushed alien, so I wasn't quite sure if we were going to get one or not. But Jared really wanted to so a couple of weeks ago we decided to get one and we are so glad we did!

This one was at 31 weeks. Look at those lips! He definitely got those from Jared!!

These are at 33 weeks, he's definitely got a set of cheeks on him!







He's got his little foot in his mouth in this one!

7-1/2 months

x


These were taken about a month ago when I was 7-1/2 months. Growing by the minute!!

Jared's Man Trip

The day after we got home from Destin Jared flew to Utah to spend a few days with his uncle and brother as a graduation gift from his parents. Looking into his suitcase as he packed for this trip was hilarious. Ripped jeans - check. Unnecessarily large hunting knife - check. Camo boots - check. Unknown number of other camo objects - check and check. He was so excited to hang out with the boys and conquer the great outdoors on their camping trip.

Of course, I was excited for him to go but also nervous that he would come home with broken bones and/or several near death experience stories. I've learned to expect these things when he's around mountains, vertical cliffs, or pretty much any male friends/relatives. He just loves adventure and channels his inner Bear Grylls whenever possible.





So when he got home and told me about the camping trip and how safe and careful they were I was so relieved! And happy he had a fun time, of course, but more relieved than anything!

Then he slipped in the comment "And since the road was closed on the way back we just hopped on the side of an 18-wheeler headed that way and rode with him down the mountain." Um....I'm sorry, did you just say you HITCHHIKED and RODE ON THE OUTSIDE SKIDS of an 18-WHEELER FOR 15 MILES!! Is that what you just said!?

So I'm glad my hitchhiking husband made it home in one piece this time. I think I might need to go on these little adventures in the future. :)

Much needed VACATION!

So the day after graduation we hopped in the car and drove 10 hours to the most BEAUTIFUL beach ever - Destin, FL. We've been going there as a family every summer since I can remember and it has been fun the past few years to keep the tradition alive. It's so great because it's so close but feels like a world away whenever you're there. Everything's just better in Destin!

Of course Jared had to represent and built a sand replica of Kyle Field.






Kellye and Sean - so cute.






Beautiful Paige - who literally just got back from being in Europe for two months, and Italy and Greece for two weeks with my parents. She hadn't even been home yet, that stinker!




Melissa and Jason - we love him!! They are so perfect for each other.






Marissa and Ryan, friends of ours from A&M. They are expecting their first little one in March!!






And us, I was 6-1/2 months here.






What was crazy to think about is that next year we'll have a little Brody with us on the beach! It was fun to watch all the parents with little toddlers running around in the sand, it made it so real to us that he's actually coming and that EVERY aspect of our lives is about to change. Which is really exciting and terrifying at the same time actually. The fear of the unknown is the scary part but thinking about being on the beach with our little family next year is SO exciting.

Update- Graduation!

*tap* *tap* Is this thing on? After sufficient slacking I've finally gotten it together enough for an update on the past month at our house! Hopefully this will be a trend to more frequent posting, I cross my fingers. How can it be that I feel like I have less time and less motivation WITHOUT a full time job than with one!? I think I just need to get it together!

So here it goes - Aug. 14th - GRADUATION! This was one of the most exciting and fun days ever, I was so so proud to see Jared in his cap and gown walking across the stage. It really was overwhelming - just thinking back on all the hard work, late nights, and stressful finals that Jared's been through the past three and a half years. This has been the day we've been looking forward to since we got married and it was finally here, and he earned every bit of it.

I just can't put into words how proud I am of him and how much I love the man that he is and has been through it all. I married a hard worker, Grandma Miller told me that he was and asked me if I was ready for it when we were engaged! I always knew he loved to clean on Saturdays and organize the garage until it is magazine worthy, but as I watched him walk across the stage it made me realize how hard of a worker he really is. When he makes his mind up to do something he does it, even if it's not easy or fun, and I'm thankful that I'm the lucky one that gets to be his wife.





Isn't that cake awesome!? Jared's mom, Lori, ordered it from a local bakery and it was so cool! So the next day we jumped in the car with my sisters, their husbands/boyfriends, and some friends of ours and headed to Destin for a week on the beach. Pictures of that tomorrow!